#5
We all know Eli Roth has to make at least one cameo appearance in almost all of his movies but when you see him playing two different characters, we must come to the conclusion that the films budget was very low or Mr. Roth has a very specific sort of passion for this one. The production value for this movie was fantastic so that would lead us to option 2 and I would say when Eli has a specific passion for something, it generally means the content will be masterfully fucked up.
#4
Never trust someone just because they were in a hit show on the Disney channel. They may end up beating your face off with a shovel.
#3
Never try to eat a turkey sandwich during the pig gutting scene, you might end up vomiting on your grandfathers couch in your sunroom. Try explaining that to your neat freak roommates.
#2
When traveling to a cabin right around the middle of sisterfucking nowhere only drink alcohol. Trust me drinking yourself to death is a far better fate than letting Eli Roth's twisted ass come up with your death scene. Better to die singing Dropkick Murphy's by the lake than end up like the ill-fated frat boy.
#1 most important lesson learned from Cabin Fever
If God ever gives you the chance to chose which director will film your death, pick someone frilly like Sophia Coppola, not Eli Roth. Unless you're like me and would prefer a gory and exceptionally fucked up death, in which case find Eli Roth on Twitter or visit one of his personally endorsed websites. We do love that devilishly good-looking, twisted motherfucker! :)
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