#5
Nice guys don't finish last for Eli Roth, they're actually dismembered and brutally murdered second in line. It's probably the only thing nice guys do well, they die spectacularly, guts spewing in various directions and screaming like women.
#4
Everyone has bad hair, except for the Asians, but thats not all they have going for them, they also scream exceptionally well. So when they're being tortured with spark plugs or whatever the hell else Mr. Roth has in store for them, we get to at least hear the pretty falsetto tones.
#3
Never watch the eye scene laying in bed, you might be cleaning the vomit off you and your significant other. Luckily, I only had to wash my sheets.
#2
Always use the buddy system. If you lose track of your buddy just fucking forget about leaving notes at the front desk of the hostel. The concierge probably already ate his scalp and sold his passport while you were fucking the cute Slovakian girl from the discoteque down the street. Duck and cover, Broski.
#1 most important lesson learned from Hostel
Forgetting to take out the trash and clean the bathroom and instead watching Hostel = fight with roommates.
No comments:
Post a Comment